Tuesday, July 10, 2012

tipsy chefery

tipsy chefery (shef-ur-ee)-
1. the art of cooking while sipping a glass (or 2) of wine.
2. finishing a glass (or 2) of wine on an empty stomach and cooking while slightly inebriated.  

example: the meal was prepared with a bit of tipsy chefery.

Coining a term here!  Have you ever performed any tipsy chefery?  I have.  Not all the time, but enough that I'm blogging about it. HA!  Here are a few pointers and warnings regarding tipsy chefery.  

1.  Let the wine breathe in your glass for about two seconds before you start taking big gulps while pulling stuff out of the fridge for dinner.

2.  It may be your only 30 minutes alone during the day when the kids are playing/napping and you still have to cook dinner.  Adding a glass of wine to the prep is the only thing that makes sense.

3.  Don't be discouraged when you drink the last sip of wine and dinner still isn't in the oven. Pour glass number two for heavens sake!

4.  Be prepared for a few mistakes to occur after glass number 2 (or before if you are a lightweight like me and skipped lunch).

5.  Don't forget to use the hot pads when removing baking sheets from the hot oven.

6.  Don't berate yourself too much when you spill____(insert anything: flour, olive juice, pepper) all over the counter and floor.
tipsy chefery induced CONUS BBQ chicken pizza
7.  Don't be surprised when your pizza looks nothing like the rectangle you were aiming for and instead resembles the contiguous United States of America.  "Yes, of course I did this on purpose!  Next pizza is going to be the shape of Oregon."

8. Your own cooking will taste that much better after two glasses of wine.  This is a huge bonus.

9. Being slightly lubricated before the meal means you will be much more likely to say "yes" when your kids (who haven't finished their meals) ask if you can blast LMFAO Party Rock Anthem so they can dance on the couch cushions.

10.  Bath time for all three children will be less of a battle while you enjoy the after-buzz of two glasses of wine but still no dinner for yourself.