where motherhood and fashion collide

I am really excited about being a guest blogger over at Sweet Athena.  The awesome gals that write this crafty blog host guest bloggers for their ever-changing themes.  Isn't a seasonal theme fun?  This season they are writing about fashion and generously asked me to contribute.  Go check it out!  Thanks Jess and Linz!  I had a blast writing this piece.

expat in Addis fashion part 2: the scarf

If you are like scarves, Ethiopia is the place to be.  Actually, anywhere in the world, other than the US is year-round scarf wearing territory.  I know Americans are jumping on board the the light summer scarf and we've always been pretty good about the winter scarf for warmth but; in other places in the world a scarf is part of one's daily wardrobe and has been for centuries.  Justin and I went to a dinner party a few months ago with a wide variety of expats from around the world and we were the only two without scarves on.

Ethiopians don't wear hats during the cold weather and some don't wear coats.  Traditionally men and women wear gabis, or a large woven cotton piece (or two) of fabric that gets wrapped around the head, shoulders, arms and the torso for warmth.  It's most often white or cream with a colorful pattern at the bottom.  Men, women and children of all ages also wear a smaller version of a gabi as a head wrap that covers the head and then the ends are wrapped around the neck for warmth.  It's rare that I see Ethiopian women without some sort of scarf or wrap on, no matter what the temperature is outside.

This series of blog posts is about how I am adjusting my wardrobe to fit the styles and practicality of living in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.  In the case of the scarf I am kind of lucky.  I have lots of scarves and wraps in my closet and since moving to Addis I am simply wearing them more.  I felt a little over dressed with a nice scarf on in the States (unless it was winter) or in SE Asia.  Here in Ethiopia scarfs are as natural as wearing a shirt so most days I have one on.  Scarves are for comfort and warmth as much as they are for style, especially during the rainy season.

Justin is getting on board the scarf train too.  When we first arrived we joked a bit about all the men at NGOs wearing scarves like hip Europeans.  Truly men who pull off a scarf are hip in my book.  The idea that a scarf would become an accessory for my khakis-and-a-polo-wearing husband was not something I saw coming.  But here we are, 8 months in Ethiopia and he wears them all the time.  Mostly when we travel for warmth and comfort.  I love it.

I'm getting much more use out of my scarves than I had in other locations and it's fun to play with how to wear, tie or drape them.  Most of the time I aimlesly wrap and tuck until there are no loose ends and my neck it warm.  I'm not the best person to ask about stylishly tying scarves but I personally prefer a messy looking scarf over a styled one.  So there you go.  Here are some of my favorites and a few ways I wear them.  

On the fashion side of things I tend to like patterned scarves unless it's one I wrap around my head.  I don't match my clothing to my scarf.  I tend to wear neutral basic things and then accesorize with a scarf.  A scarf immediately turns jeans and a t-shirt into an outfit.  I like that I can throw one on and look a little more put together.

I own one bright infinity scarf which I splurged on with a gift card from Athroplogie from my Mother in law. It's a gorgeous scarf.  It's a tad long though and it's hard to wear this out running errands because the long drape can get in the way.  I'm more worried about ruining this scarf than my others.

The small pink scarf is nice for warmer weather because it dresses up an outfit but doesn't provide much warmth. Justin picked this silk scarf up for me during his travels in Indonesia.  I used to tie it in my hair at the beach in the Philippines.

The other scarves photographed are all from a little shop in Manila.  They had a sale one day and I bought a few prior to our trip to New Zealand in 2010 because I was expecting it to be cold.  It was and I was grateful for the scarves then as I am now.  I didn't pay more than $5 for any one of them so I don't ever worry about traveling with them and getting them dirty.

The head drape scarf is still a little tough for me to pull off. I haven't actually worn this wrap around my head like this around town but lots of expat women do.  They wear them with a hat and sunglasses on too.  It's good to protect against the sun so I can see the need but so far I haven't dared wear all three accessories together yet.  The scarf around my neck with a hat is about as Africa chic as I have gone.


The head wrap style is very practical though because you can pull the top off your head when you get inside so the scarf is now only around your neck.

Do you wear scarves?  What's your favorite way to wear them?

expat in Addis fashion

One thing I've learned that comes with moving around a lot is the need to reinvent my wardrobe in every new place we live.   I'm determined to approach this challenge as an opportunity to look at my closet in a fresh new way.

I like fashion.  I wouldn't say I'm extremely fashionable all the time, but I try.  Being at home with 3 kids most of the time has taken it's toll on my fashion sensibility.  My new sensible outlook on my attire is kind of appropriate for the country we live in right now.  Being in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia has forced me to completely rethink my ideas about fashion and clothing.  Sensible and appropriate is "in" here.

Expat fashion couldn't have been more different in the Philippines.  My skirts were shorter my heels were higher and everything was brighter!  All I had to do was slip into one of the 37 Zara stores in Manila to see what was currently on trend.  Actually, I didn't have to even do that.  Just glancing at what everyone was wearing while they walked one of the gazillion malls proved educational.  I wouldn't say the Philippines is the most fashionable of Asian countries, but fashion was definitely a priority for the upper class.  It was everywhere in Manila.  My closet became populated with some really great stuff during our time in the Philippines.

All that great stuff is just hanging there mocking me right now as we navigate life in Ethiopia.  Not only would most of those things be completely inappropriate for the climate and terrain of Addis Ababa, I would look ridiculous.  I'd surely stumble on the uneven pavement or cobble stone sidewalks.  My feet would be muddy or dusty. For the first time in my life my husband nixed a dress I put on for a diplomatic function because it was just too short for the function.  The culture here is very modest.  It's also Africa.  Expats wear rugged cargo pants and safari shirts with lots of pockets. Sensible shoes is an understatement.  Let's just say navigating Africa chic is new for me.

That being said, I'm taking a look at what's in my closet that I can use here in Ethiopia.  Some things will surely sit unworn for two years but other things are destined for a comeback.

My plan is to reinvent expat fashion in Addis Ababa for myself.  First thing on the list I've discovered is the need for a hat.  The sun is brutal here, even during rainy season it's easy to get a sun burn.  I didn't have a hat in my wardrobe so this is a newly acquired item.  It's a wide brimmed fedora.  If I'm out of the house, it's on my head.

Stay tuned for more expat in Addis fashion tips. You know, for whenever you plan to be an expat in Addis!

A big thank you to my five year old for taking a few minutes from playing with her Barbies to snap these photos for me.  She's a blossoming photographer.  

Rosie Flo

I knew the moment that I saw this interactive coloring/paper doll set that Adelaide would love it.  And I was right, she got to work with her colored pencils immediately upon sneaking a peak at it on the shelf.  I saved it for the week after summer camp when I knew we'd be struggling to find fun things to do.

Rosie Flo's Fashion Show is for the mini-fashionista at heart.  It comes with a cardboard runway, models, spectators, and even a little poodle to get in on the action.  We spent a good part of three afternoons coloring the dresses.  The best part is that Addie drew on the faces, arms and legs.  I helped her put together the stage and she was rather confused why it was so long.

Then it dawned on me that Addie didn't really understand what a fashion show was because she'd never seen on.  We immediately marched to the computer and pulled up YouTube.  I found Carolina Herrera's Spring 2012 Bridal Collection show and Addie sat mesmerized watching the models and gowns until I could snap her out of her white tulle induced coma.  I'd say she had a new appreciation for Rosie Flo's after her little viewing.  Addie's going to be my little fashion editor someday.

for the love of bags

I've been writing A LOT about material stuff lately.  I apologize if you don't really dig this kind of stuff.  I really dig it and I'm a gazillion miles from a proper mall so that's probably where the interest is coming from lately.  I'm going through shopping withdrawal. My husband might point out the withdrawal isn't reflecting in our credit card statements from online shopping.  But it's just not the same!  Am I right?  I almost miss those terrible dressing room lights that make my skin blotchy and my saddle bags enormous!  Almost.


I digress.  For Christmas 2011 my husband hit a total home run with everything he gave me.  My first pair of TOMS, a Kindle Fire, an embossed silver necklace with all three girls' names.  He knows me so well and is a great gift giver.  


Then there was the satchel.

I unwrapped a florescent orange stiff leather bag and he kind of scrunched up his forehead and shrugged his shoulders in anticipation of what my first impressions would be.  I can honestly say, when I opened it, I wasn't too sure.  The satchel's shape and construction was clearly top notch and he knows I LOVE the color orange.  But day glow orange?  Whoa!  (to his defense it didn't look day glow on the website-more burnt orange).

Fast forward 7 months and I have revisited my bright orange satchel.  I am in love with this handbag now.  I wore it for the very first time the other day and it totally rocked in every sense of the word.  What changed you might ask?  A number of things.

At two months postpartum the idea of making a bold day glow fashion statement was completely out of the question.  I'm still trying to hide behind my clothing at that stage so now that I've got my groove back; bring on the orange!  For whatever reason I couldn't see myself carrying a satchel on a regular basis back in December.  Now that we are in Ethiopia, I go to the store without my kids and DO have an occasion to carry a smaller bag than my giant diaper bag/tote.  Carrying a small bag that holds only grown-up lady things is so liberating.  I almost feel like I'm slacking when my bag doesn't hurt my shoulder from heft.

So now that I am in love with my day glow orange satchel, I want to share it with you.  My husband really went the extra mile to find this sort of gift for me and I'm super impressed.  It's a vintage hand sewn satchel from The Original Satchel Store Ltd. in the UK.  Everything about that description makes me swoon.  Vintage! Hand sewn! Original! Love! (marketed to yuppies like me for sure)


There are a ton of fun colors (red, yellow even pink) and basic colors too (tan, black, grey).  I wouldn't have chosen day glow orange for myself but I'm honestly glad my husband did. It's bright and unique and has a huge wow factor.  Which is totally OK now that I'm not looking like this.

Hello awesome day glow orange satchel, I'm so glad you are in my life now!

in defense of my mom jeans

I'm just going to put this out there. I'm too old for ultra low rise jeans and I'm tired of my panties hanging out of the back of said ultra low rise jeans.  I'm not 17 any longer and when I was that age, jeans didn't have as low of a rise then, so I essentially have a 17 year old's problem at the age of 32.  It's not cool.

I'm in a constant state of bent over, kneeling, squatting and sitting with my children.  I buy long t-shirts and pull them down when I sit down.  I wear a belt to keep my jeans up, I tuck a camisole into my pants to try and hide my whale tail. I'm always tugging at my waistline when I stand back up. It's ridiculous and inappropriate to be a mom of three with my undies on display.

That's why I'm defending my new purchase of "mom jeans".  I have a pair of Not Your Daughter's Jeans and I love them.  Don't hate me!  I bought my first pair of NYDJ as postpartum jeans after Ashlynn was born.  They are perfect for that self conscious stage when you are getting your body back but aren't quite your normal size yet.   I bought this second pair because I knew if I went down a size they'd fit and I don't have the option to go shopping and try on a bunch of different brand and styles of jeans.  Ethiopia is a little limiting in that way.

oh purple heels, how I miss you

Pros

• They are high wasted and no matter how much I bend over my undergarments are concealed.  After three children I also need a bit of concealment in my abdominal area (can I get an Amen?) These are good for that.

side note: I actually measured, and these jeans are a full two inches higher in the front and back rise than my don't-forget-to-shave American Eagle skinny low rise jeans.  

• The dark wash is slimming
• The stretch is soft and comfortable
• They aren't ultra long like designer brands.  The regular length hits me right where they should without alterations.
• They are made in the U.S.A. and you can't say that about much these days.

Cons

• Because they have some stretch in them after a few wears they start to loosen and not be so skinny anymore. (a quick wash and line dry tightens them up again though)
• The dark wash on the pair I've owned for 8 months is faded at my knees where I kneel often which is kind of a bummer.  
• The tushy on these jeans doesn't do a spectacular job on lifting and rounding.  It does a good job sucking-in if that's your desire.  
• The back pockets are a tad too high, which for me is the tell tale sign that these are mom jeans.  My other designer jeans like 7 for All Mankind, have nice small low pockets that look nice on the tushy.  

this is why these jeans are mom jeans

Ultimately my new jeans are mom jeans because there is a lot of mothering going on when I where them.  I'm OK with it.  They may not be the sexiest jeans on the planet but I'm not really feeling the need to look sexy as I'm setting up the wooden train set bridge for the thirtieth time in one day.  Let's just say Addis Ababa isn't exactly the hot spot to be seen either!

Jeans are the best kind of outfit foundation.  If I were to pair these mom jeans with a lavender twinset and a pair of Danskos (nothing against my lady friends who wear either of these styles) I might argue that I would look more mommy-ish.  Instead I tend to pair these jeans with a long belted tunic sweater and boots or a t-shirt, cropped blazer and my flats and they look like any other pair of skinny jeans out there-just more comfortable and modest. I guess I'm making the case that you can own a pair of mom jeans but disguise the fact by wearing them with cute stuff.  OK-it's a bit of a stretch. Even I know this.

That's my defense for my mom jeans.  But I guess ultimately haters gonna hate.

things I am loving right now

Just a few random thoughts on the things I can't live without right now.

1. Molasses.  I never gave molasses much thought before moving to Ethiopia.  Since being here, I've been substituting molasses in place of sugar in things like breads and cookies.  The flavor is rich and delicious without being too sweet.  Yesterday Bella and I made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.  The recipe called for 2 cups of sugar!  That's just overkill.  Instead we included 1 cup of brown sugar and half a cup of molasses.  The cookies are delicious and I don't feel guilty about giving one to the girls as a snack.

2. Kalamata olives.  Can not live without kalamata olives right now.  I used to use plain old black olives in things like pasta, pizzas, sandwiches, etc. I'm not sure why.  Kalamata olives are exponentially more flavorful.  The only thing I use black olives for now is Mexican food.  Kalamata is the way to go.  Once you switch you will never eat a pizza with black olives again.

3. My TOMS.  Justin bought my first pair of TOMS for Christmas last year. They aren't photo worthy anymore but my new pair he gave me for my birthday are.  I am in love with the red silhouettes of animals on the inside.  They are the perfect shoe for a stay-at-home mom.  They slip on and off easily and are good for   the little bit of cushion needed when cooking or standing a long time with the baby.  Plus they are casual and not fussy but cute.  I am a huge TOMS convert.

4. Klorane dry shampoo.  I made fun of dry shampoo being a more expensive baby powder in an older post before I actually tried it.  I can't live without it now.  It does a much better job of absorbing oil and making hair look clean than baby powder ever did for me.  I use it on the days I don't shampoo my hair and it works wonders.  It has no smell and immediately eliminates that dark oily sheen at my scalp.  

The Garment Project after

I'm really excited to post the after pictures of the trench coat my lovely seamstress, Ann, restructured for me. Do you remember the before post?

The blazer is still a work in progress-see below.Here is the before photo of the trench coat (good God the hair!) I was super excited to take home the awesome results of the trench coat project. Too bad I have this awesome coat in the Manila heat. No problem, it will chill in my closet until we are in cooler temperatures.We had to sacrifice the long sleeves due to the way it was attached to the body of the jacket. It was unavoidable. I'm not that sad because the three quarter length sleeve still looks nice and the belted sleeve can be pushed up to accentuate the gather at the shoulder (which turned out heavenly, I might add). Plus a long sleeved blouse/sweater peaking out of the sleeve will look kind of cool and layered anyway. I forgot to photograph the back of the coat which has a great vent and pleat at the length of the coat. We kept all the traditional trench coat features and the original belts. I'm in love with how it turned out.

Still having a bit of trouble buttoning it on the opposite side since it's a men's coat. I finally figured it out.The labor for the restructure was about $60 (which includes whatever Ann's business gets off the top-not dirt cheap but eons cheaper than what it would have cost me in the States). That means for about $72.50 I have a cool custom made trench coat with a great story behind it. The story is the best part. I'd like to think that somewhere in Vancouver, WA the middle-aged man who used to wear this London Towne trench coat to work who's wife finally cleaned out their hall closet and threw it in the pile for the Salvation Army; would be happy to know that I'm getting some good use out of his old coat. It's way cuter now!*I'd like to add a little thank you note to my husband, who took the pictures of me as he laughed at how excited the new jacket made me. I know he couldn't care less about clothing or the thrill of finding an old garment for cheap and restructuring it; but he humored me for the photos and I might add that the first photo he took was the best after all. I kept pestering him to turn off the flash and stand here, No, stand there, now focus it on me...nag, nag, nag. In the end, his photo was the best. Sorry, honey...I love you.