Friday, May 25, 2012

suck it Martha

For the record, I like Martha.  I subscribe to her magazine because the photography is excellent , the recipes are good and her party ideas are slammin (albeit a bit too perfect).  But I am not Martha, nor am I her food critic, food stylist, or the chef that makes those beautiful concoctions in the photos.  I wonder if those photos are supposed to make one's self esteem disappear completely when you try the recipe and by God it doesn't even remotely look like Martha's version?

It's my own fault, I get a little too crafty when it comes to my kids birthdays.  Today is the day Addie gets to celebrate her birthday at school.  I was required to bake something for her classmates.  I declined on the 60 cupcakes because that's a ton of cupcakes.  My initial thought was cookies but then I saw this photo on the cover of the June issue of Martha Stewart Living and right then and there Addie and I decided that was the cake I was going to make for her to bring to school.  It was perfect!  We can get strawberries and whipping cream here.  The cake looked simple enough...
This is not what my cake looked like.  Not even close!

Boy was I wrong.  The cake is an angel food type cake with a trillion and a half eggs that rose and puffed beautifully in the oven and then within 30 minutes of cooling completely collapsed into a wrinkly mess.  This is even after I adjusted the recipe for baking at high altitude.  This high altitude thing is really cramping my baking style!  Anyway, I decided to cut the two 9 inch wrinkly cakes so there would be four layers and try to disguise the wrinkles with whip cream.

I assembled the cake before school today and oh man-it did not go so well.  The cake was supposed to be light and airy and my wrinkly fallen mess WAS NOT.  The strawberries in the middle were fine but the whip cream just squished out the sides of the layers and the entire four layer cake had slid apart twice before I just popped the portable cake carrier's lid on and put it in the back of the car with a note that said "I failed.  I hope it tastes better than it looks!"

I was in tears in the kitchen apologizing to Adelaide.  "I'm so sorry honey.  Mommy was trying to make a beautiful cake for you to bring to school!"  She came and gave me a hug and  said "I love you, I don't mind a silly looking cake".  "It was wrinkly and now it's falling, it's ok".  Bless her heart.  She's such a sweet girl.

Anyway, I hate failing at cakes.  I'm a stay at home Mom. I've known about having to bring a cake today for weeks now and so the idea that I failed at it is depressing.  Seriously?!  I could't have just made a batch of brownies or a boxed sheet cake? That's where I failed completely.  I got a little too crafty and it backfired.  I'm sure the kids won't mind their scoop of cake today. No doubt it will taste delicious but I should have just sent her to school with a box of cookies like everyone else!

UGH! Martha and her beautiful cakes!


Melinda Renee said...

Ohhh.... (stifling my chuckle) Honey.... A lot of time they don't even use real food products when they stage those photos!

And, for the record, I'm sure it tastes fabulous, no matter how wrinkled & leaning it is. *hug*

Megan said...

Even attempting a cake like this makes you super mom! Don't be so hard on yourself. Addie will not remember the cake, only the love that went into making it. Love you!

Daniela Swider said...

I am so sorry it didn't turn out. I am a little bit like you, I guess. I really want my kid's birthdays to be picture perfect, so I try to plan in advance and if I get the guts too make something, I usually try it before the day because I hate failures so bad and I so don't want to disappoint the munchkins and their friends. So, I completely understand how you feel, and some days I really hate those perfect pictures. Enjoy your little one's birthday and remember it's the love that you give her that makes a difference, not whether the cake was wrinkled or not. And she is wise way beyond her years because she noticed that herself!!!

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