Adelaide has developed a pretty hefty dose of anxiety the past two weeks. She's having a hard time at drop-off to school and even yesterday she cried when I left for the grocery store. It's very unlike her to be upset about going to school and normally she wouldn't care if I left the house. She's refused to go to friends houses for play dates and has a tendency to follow me around the house. I've even noticed in her drawings of herself she's drawing me right next to her in all of them.
It's been hard to get to the bottom of the problem. We've uncovered a fear of a dog at a play mates house as one reason she doesn't want to go there any longer. I've tried to ask her all the right questions about what's going on at school but it doesn't seem to be uncovering anything. We've even had the conversation about secrets and how there are no secrets between her and I even if another adult asks her to keep a secret. Justin and I have been mentally picturing the worst. Seeing the anxiety surface when in multiple places and situations hasn't let us pinpoint the anxiety to any one location (school or other friends homes) or individual (teacher or driver etc.) It really seems to be a separation anxiety from ME! Sometimes I find her in tears in our own home because she couldn't find me (it's a big house but, still). The grocery store incident had her crying at my car door screaming "Don't leave me Mommy". When we are all at home she's happily playing with Bella and or Eneye, Zalalem, and Teklu. We're often all playing together.
We are hoping it's a phase and maybe she's having a hard time adjusting to the idea that Ethiopia is home now. We aren't sure. I've been giving her extra hugs at school drop off and extra love at home. Hopefully the end is in sight.
It's been hard to get to the bottom of the problem. We've uncovered a fear of a dog at a play mates house as one reason she doesn't want to go there any longer. I've tried to ask her all the right questions about what's going on at school but it doesn't seem to be uncovering anything. We've even had the conversation about secrets and how there are no secrets between her and I even if another adult asks her to keep a secret. Justin and I have been mentally picturing the worst. Seeing the anxiety surface when in multiple places and situations hasn't let us pinpoint the anxiety to any one location (school or other friends homes) or individual (teacher or driver etc.) It really seems to be a separation anxiety from ME! Sometimes I find her in tears in our own home because she couldn't find me (it's a big house but, still). The grocery store incident had her crying at my car door screaming "Don't leave me Mommy". When we are all at home she's happily playing with Bella and or Eneye, Zalalem, and Teklu. We're often all playing together.
We are hoping it's a phase and maybe she's having a hard time adjusting to the idea that Ethiopia is home now. We aren't sure. I've been giving her extra hugs at school drop off and extra love at home. Hopefully the end is in sight.
5 comments:
All of my kids have gone through a phase like this and while some of had separation anxiety worse than the others, it eventually fades as randomly as it arrived. Good luck!
I hope you are right! Thanks for the insight. It's just odd coming from our eldest child.
Keep following your instincts to meet her needs and find out what is behind her worries. Mine tend to get extra needy especially if they have had a bad nightmare, or a series of bad dreams. Sending our best wishes for smoother days ahead for your child.
One of my brothers got that way, and when my friend's 3 year old did Mom told about how she put a few random things in an extra purse and left it with Steve at preschool. In his mind, Mom would never go anywhere without her purse, so the fact that she'd left it with him meant she'd DEFINATELY come back... It didn't work for my friend because she never uses purses, but maybe it will help Addie?
Wow! I could have written the same thing about Alli - You took the words right out of my mouth - good luck! I know I need it!
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