3.7 gallons

I was feeling really good about donating all my frozen breastmilk to a milk bank where milk is collected for premature infants or infants with medical problems. I love the idea of giving the milk to someone who can use it and at the same time I was getting the second half of my freezer back. My plan busted during the screening questions when the kind lady over the phone said "I'm so sorry, we can't accept your milk." What?! If you're husband's traveled to Africa since 1977 you can't donate. My eyes welled up. I felt so rejected! The sad part is that I know my family and I are healthy and it's the tiny newborns who could have received the milk are the ones loosing out.

What a bummer...

So all the milk...all 475 ounces of it, that's 3.7 gallons, was thrown out tonight. I regretted it almost immediately. I guess all that milk I painstakingly pumped was my back-up plan in case I wasn't here for Addie. I know she won't drink the milk much longer. It's silly to be regretful. All those late night pumping and Medela freezer bags, I put a lot of love in all that milk. If I feel this sad about throwing out the freezer stock, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when I wean her and stop pumping completely. One step at a time Sara...one step at a time.