relaxation memory loss

I mentioned that I catered an event for 100 people last Saturday already.  I'm only mentioning it again because this week in comparison to last week and the lead-up to that event, was super slow.  I love how that job put into perspective what I do weekly for the embassy market.  Last week I cooked like a mad woman for the entire week and this week my four batches of scones, 2 batches of cookies and fancy cupcakes seemed like a breeze.  I spent two hours the last three days preparing for Market Day and I found something valuable I thought I had lost forever.  Free time!

It's nice to have a slow week after a really busy one.  Thursday seemed unnaturally slow.  My cupcakes took so little time that I had plenty of time to sit and play with Ashlynn.  We read stories, she snacked on crackers while I chopped veggies for dinner, we had a grand time until it was time for her nap.  My housekeeper was out that day, so I had the house to myself on top of nothing to do during Ashlynn's nap time.

It was weird folks.  I kind of paced around a bit, checked my email a million times, put a kettle on the stove for tea, paced some more, fiddled with my ready-to-go-in-the-oven dinner (it was noon), rubbed the dog's ears and then it hit me.  I don't know how to relax anymore.

My mantra as a mother is "GO".  I go most of my days without stopping.  Not a moment to rest my feet, not a minute to ponder life's greatest questions, hardly a moment for a meal and certainly not enough time to take a deep breath.  Going helps me to continue going.  When I stop, at the end of the day after the kids are asleep, I crash.  I'm done and I can't get back up.  I'm just one of those peoples who likes to go. I like to be on my feet busy and I never lack for things to keep me busy during my days.  I'm in that stage of life right now.

So when a blank moment presents itself, I'm kind of clueless.

The scenes of my life. 

I stood in my kitchen with a cup of tea and absolutely nothing to do.  I ran through a list of things I could do in my head to busy myself, but none of them were pressing or appealing (see above photo).  So I lit a candle, put on a sweater and drank my tea.  Then I proceeded to read through the archives of Design Mom's Living with Kids Series.  I highly recommend it for any other ladies out there who find themselves with an unscheduled hour of time.

I made due with that free time but I felt like I might have wasted it.  Maybe there is something much more rewarding I could do with an hour and I've just forgotten what that is.  Help!  What do you do with your free time?  That precious, sometimes strange feeling, free time.