Saturday, June 6, 2009

truth be told

As you may have noticed, my posts have been less wordy since Arabella was born. The truth is that I'm exhausted! The lack of sleep hinders my writing ability. It's a miracle I'm able to remember my camera to take pictures. I've concluded that Justin and I make big hungry baby girls who are born screaming and ferociously hungry; and continue to be hungry! Every two hours around the clock I nurse my babies. I'm grateful for a three hour block at night every once in awhile. It's non-stop and it's exhausting. I've been so lucky to have my sisters and parents available to help with Addie and Bella for the past five weeks. It's wonderful but not quite the same as having Justin's help. Mentally it becomes tough when you are this tired as well. I find myself feeling really bad about not being able to devote more time to playing with Addie. I also feel bad that I can't give my undivided attention to Arabella the way that Adelaide had my attention when she was born. Addie has started to protest when I am holding or nursing Bella now. She has figured out that if Bella is in my arms I won't be able to play like she wants me to. Megan has become Addie's best buddy the past few weeks. I cherish our bedtime routine because it's a few moments alone with my oldest daughter. I know I'm not the first Mom of two, and I also know that these first few months are the hardest and then they will pass. As soon as they pass I will be longing for my newborn back.

2 comments:

Terry said...

Hang in there Sara. You are a wonderful mother, don't ever forget that.
XOXO, Terry

The Gunning Family said...

Sara,
You're in a tough spot right now! I remember those days well - which one do you tend to when they both want you? You're right - this time will pass and you will miss your babies! Don't forget to take some time for you ... not only do you need it, but you deserve it. We are praying for all you to be reunited soon.
Love, Donna